Thursday, June 14, 2007

Beating A Dead Horse With A Horse You've Already Beaten To Death

Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.

I've come to understand that when anyone is upset or disturbed about an incident, they like to repeat the story at least 3 times. No matter how convoluted and complicated the story is, almost everyone will go over it thrice. And I accept this; once I see that there is some consistency to the way clients behave, I don't hold it against them. Why be upset over the way humans are designed to react?

But some go for the overkill, repeating the story seemingly to no end. For example, I spoke with a woman who was upset with a mutual client and told the story 12 times. I counted. The call lasted half an hour, which is 15x longer than the average 2 minute call. I didn't have to do anything to help her, she didn't have any questions, and the call ended where it began. Nothing accomplished because nothing needed to be.

Now, I'll lend a sympathetic ear, but going over a story 12 times is completely unwarranted, unnecessary, and unproductive. Customers don't even realize how unproductive they are and how they restrict the progress of resolving their own conflicts.

I couldn't understand what it was this woman wanted me to do, so after enough empathy was expressed, I asked her. And I asked her again. And then, again. Every time I asked her what she wanted, what she needed to feel better (over something beyond both our control to begin with), she would only respond with a scattered response, mixing vague and common phrases with her story until she could segue back into the sequence of events again. And I've been through worse! I once spoke with a woman for 2 1/2 hours about NOTHING. I thought I was never going to get out of that one, but by some miracle she grew tired of hearing herself drill a trivial issue into my head.

It's not the crazies, though there are plenty of those: the guy whose dad is always just having died, the guy who calls and talks about nothing but wrestling for 20 minutes, the guy who calls and asks random questions like, "Who invented the credit card?", but asks nothing about his business with us. But it's not the crazies who repeat stories over and over again, these are just regular people. And they're retarded. And you're probably one of them.

So if you call any customer service, and you have an issue:
1) There is no need to repeat your story a million times; if I got it the first time, it wouldn't make sense that after repeating it 10 more times, I just won't get it anymore.
2) There is also no need to repeat your story a million times; if I got it the first time, it wouldn't make sense that after repeating it 10 more times, I just won't get it anymore.
3) There isn't any need to repeat your story a million times; if I got it the first time, it wouldn't make sense that after repeating it 10 more times, I just won't get it anymore.
4) There is even no need to repeat your story a million times; if I got it the first time, it wouldn't make sense that after repeating it 10 more times, I just won't get it anymore.
5) Lastly, there is no need to repeat your story a million times; if I got it the first time, it wouldn't make sense that after repeating it 10 more times, I just won't get it anymore.

Do I have to repeat myself?

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Let's Get Retarded In Here

To kick this thing off, I'll begin by expressing how disheartening it has been to realize that almost everybody in America these days is without manners. Before I began working in customer service, I figured most people in this country were probably like me: very courteous, raised to respect everyone, and civil in their discourse. After having been doing it for 2 years, I have lost all faith in the upbringing of at least the last 3 generations of Americans.

Not everybody is a hothead. Not everyone I talk to is argumentative and unpleasant. For the most part, people are nice, but it is such a poor reflection on them when their manners have diminished to almost completely nothing.

Some of you may have long suspected that this has become the case just in dealing with people you interact with in public everyday. But how many of you have the opportunity to work 60 hours a week taking call after call after call, speaking with people from random cities all over the country? It is when you experience this kind of constant interaction with today's brightest and crudest that you will confirm that it is indeed the case that Americans are mannerless.

"Do you mind holding?" I was surprised to find out that most people ignore me when I ask this. They don't have to respond, the little servant should go and do as I say, I talk to you when I chose to. Which reminds me, many people don't ask for me to do things either, they command that I do them. Why complain so much about the new voice response system when you only treat me like a robot, anyway? I have flesh over the blood that runs through me, you know, so throw "please" somewhere in there.

Why do I answer the phone, refreshed and ready to approach you with peace, only to be greeted with animosity? Oh, I've been cursed at, wished to be dead or put in jail, and more--and I don't even know who you are nor what's going on yet! What kind of awful person do you have to be to speak to some unrelated person with such passionate hate and venomous disdain? You may respond, "Hey, you're supposed to represent the company!" To that, I reply, What kind of awful person do you have to be to speak to some unrelated person with such passionate hate and venomous disdain? Whatever the problem is, I bleed and breathe like you, so treat me like a human being. What kind of person do you have to be to unload all the shit in your life on an innocent stranger? A monster.

The list goes on--and on... But the post is already getting too lengthy and I feel I've made it clear that for the most part, Americans lack respect for everyone and expect everything back from them. And I say it's at least apparent in the last 3 generations because I come across the same thing from the youngest, to the older, to the elderly (who are already notoriously rude people). If the 2 of you out there who are reading this understand how lackluster our signs of respect and dignity have become, please stop calling, yelling at me, and cursing me out! I don't know who the fuck you are, and if you saw me on the street, I'd kill you.

Mind your damn manners!