Sunday, October 21, 2007

Frankfart, Doucheland

Today a customer called and said he wanted to book a hotel. I asked him if he didn't mind holding a minute while I transferred him to our travel services. He said, "Well, actually, yeah, if it's gonna be longer than a minute, then I'm just going to hang up."

WTF? He can't afford to wait to be transferred for a single minute, but he plans on sitting down and going through the elaborate process of making a hotel reservation?

"Sir," I said, "that really won't be necessary," and I sent him on his way. What a douche.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

So what you're saying is I'm a fucking retard?

Sometimes the things these customers say to me are so aggravating I would not be able to fight the impulse to hurt them if they ever said it to my face. For example, today for some reason I'm being forced to communicate with complete idiots who sound like they might actually be let down if I tell them that whatever it is they want to do can actually be done! I never understood those type of people (then again, I never understand why any of these rude assholes are the way they are), the type who want to have something done, ask if it can be done, and complain about not being able to do it right in the face of someone who just told them they could.

To be more specific, I just spoke to someone who asked if they could make a payment. I said, "Sure, all we need is your bank info." I'm sure anyone reading this who happens to have a brain will think, Well, logically, the statement that would follow should go something like, "Great, let me give you that information." Right?

Actually, what this particular idiot said--frantically--was, "So what you're saying is I can't make a payment?!?" Sound crazy? Not only is it not crazy, it's not unusual! It would seem that people call and anticipate being told they can't do something no matter what they actually hear every Goddamn day. For you slow folks who call me and do this, that means you completely ignore me, wait for me to stop talking, and get ready to do your whole spiel about how what you want can't be done. It also means your parents long forgot their "Teach My Kids Respect" lesson plan.

Earlier than that call, I had another customer who wanted to get some cash. I said, "Sure, all we need to know is such-and-such information."
"So what you're saying is I can't get any cash?!? What's the point of doing business with you people? Blah blah blah!!!" And so it goes on in an angry tirade that I just wait to end so I can repeat myself. For some reason, this time, they behave as if I said something different and we can finally get on with our lives.